I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
