She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize