Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
we're so committed to being not committed
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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