I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
