yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
