i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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