found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
