so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
