3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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