the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
