Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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