what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
