frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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