"it" just moved
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Drake has all the answers
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
