guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
