how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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