And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
The feeling are messing with the penis
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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