The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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