The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
