yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
So many bounce houses so little time
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
