i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
