My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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