So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
