Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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