just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
My dick has a subreddit
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
