why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
