her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
