evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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