Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
