I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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