They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
