Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize