She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Shame is for Republicans.
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