my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
