hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
