Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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