I could have mohawked her pubes.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
