I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
