You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
