my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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