i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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