They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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