is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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