I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
