oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
