Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
