One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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