and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
