Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
She even gives head with a lisp.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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