hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
