I seem to have left my pride at pride
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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