I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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