just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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