just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
