did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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