Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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