And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
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