I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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