Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
