I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
